Sunday, December 13, 2009

Update on Napro doctor's visit - being tested for PCOS!

I had a wonderful visit with my Napro doctor. He could tell I felt very anxious, answered all my questions, and he tried to reassure me. He looked at my hormone results from the last day of last cycle, which were taken at my yearly physical on Dec. 1st and told me my hormones were where they were supposed to be. He also took a look at my FSH and LH results and told me those were fine too. He reassured me that from my FHS and LH results it didn't look like I was anywhere near menopause, thank God! What a huge relief! But then why, am I starting to skip periods? He told me that a women can skip periods for any number of reasons. He looked at my Creighton chart with all the green stickers the last two cycles and agreed with me that he didn't think I was ovulating. He prescribed Femara on day three of my last cycle (two pills for five days) and told me if I didn't have any CM (cervical mucus) this cycle then on day three of my next cycle to take eight pills of the Femara. I haven't seen any CM yet and this is supposed to be my fertile time. I am not sure what's going on. We talked about the possibility of PCOS and he wants to test me for that on P+7. If I don't ovulate this cycle again though, then how can we tell it is P+7? Again, I am not showing any signs of CM or ovulating.

For those of you diagnosed with endometriosis and pcos, is there anything I can do diet wise to encourage more regular CM and ovulation? Skipping periods is highly unusual for me. I have been regular all my life. Also as far as I know, up until only a few months ago, I was having regular CM and ovulating.

If you have any words of encouragement for me, advice, suggestions, or if you could please pray for me I would really love to hear from you! Thank you so much!

Thinking of you and praying for you all!

Love,
Maria

Thursday, December 10, 2009

anxious about my appointment with Napro doctor tommorow - prayers please?

First of all, thank you so much for your encouragement, prayers, and for posting! I really appreciate them all!

Tomorrow I have an appointment with my Napro doctor. I am bringing my Creighton chart as well as a copy of my lab results from my yearly physical last week. I am afraid what this doctor might say to me. He is not going to be very happy that I haven't lost any more weight since I last saw him this past summer. I think I gained back five to eight pounds. I am not sure he is going to understand that due to the lack of fertility signs, the skipping of periods, the fear of peri-menopause, and my dreams of motherhood floating away that I haven't been feeling very happy. I have been feeling very anxious, sad, and discouraged. Just like many people, when I'm feeling this way I reach for foods and drinks (Pepsi!)to make me feel better. I know, not good. I fear when they weigh me and he sees that I gained back a little weight, he will be giving me a little speech. I'm also wondering what he is going to say when he sees all the green stickers on my chart and the lack of the white baby stickers. Peri-menopause? Maybe PCOS? Unfortunately I've been suffering from anxiety just thinking about my visit with this doctor and what he might tell me especially after looking at my Creighton chart and hormone report. I have both in my possession and they do not look very good fertility wise. Both seem to tell me that my hormones are NOT at the right levels for being able to conceive. I have known for awhile now that my progesterone levels were not that great, but now it looks like my estrogen levels are decreasing too. Can this explain all the headaches and crying episodes I've been having? I am not sure. This is probably a good question to ask the doctor tommorow.

Could you please pray for me that this doctor can help me and give me some encouraging news? I really need to hear something positive, something encouraging. Thank you so much!

On a happy note, tomorrow on the way to the Napro doctor's office we are going to make a stop in my old hometown and visit my old co-workers and friends from the daycare I worked at as a teacher for nineteen years! I am really looking forward to seeing them! I haven't seen most of them for two years now!

Thinking of you and praying for all of you!

May God Bless you all!

Love,
Maria :)

Monday, December 7, 2009

Feeling overwhelmed and lonely here

Okay, I feel overwhelmed right now by endometriosis stage four, infertility, the fact that I've been skipping periods, and my doctor last week brought up the word peri-menopause to me. They took a hormone panel, but I haven't recieved the results yet. I am afraid to find out. I am also afraid to go see my Napro doctor this Friday and hear what he is going to say. I requested my hormone panel results to be faxed to the Napro doctor.

Things just look so bleak right now. My heart and arms are aching so much to have a baby of my own and to be a full time wife and mother, but I'm afraid it would take a miracle for it to happen for me.

I don't know. I just feel so sad and discouraged right now. I also wonder why do I even blog? I don't think anybody visits my blog.

I really wish I knew some ladies who suffer from infertility in Mass and we could get together to talk and share or chat on the phone. I feel like I can't talk to anybody about this and not many people understand. I wish there was such a thing as an infertility group in my area.

Oh well. What can I do? As always, try to trust and pray, but it is becoming more difficult. There doesn't seem to be any answers. Still, I cling to my rosary and to my new 7 Sorrows Rosary of Our Lady.

Thinking of you all and praying for you all!

Mumbling to myself...don't cry Maria, don't cry.

Love,
Maria

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Diet-Free, Guilt-Free Weight Loss? YES!



I just finished this book and loved it! It is a health novel, an inspiring story of diet-free, guilt-free weight loss written by Nutritionist Zonya Foca, America's Nutrition Leader and Stephen Moss, America's Health Novelist. Here's what it says on the back of the book:

"Introducing A New Genre: The Health Novel!"

"60 Extra pounds. An Unhappy marriage. Food for comfort. Karen's life is falling apart. Then she meets an unlikely neighbor who reveals how a series of simple choices have the power to shape the life we have - into the life we want."

"Karen's story of weight loss and personal transformation will touch your heart and open your eyes! It will reveal how eight powerful, core habits, when mastered one at a time, create an invisible force that will literally-change your life."

"What do you get when you cross a nutritionist with a novelist? A health novel! Where nutrition, health and weight-loss information are woven into the story. Each challenge the characters face not only teaches you what to do - it inspires you to actually do it."

"Zonya Foco, America's Nutrition Leader, and Stephen Moss, America's Health Novelist, have joined forces to create this exciting new genre. Stephen's compelling story will keep you turning the pages while Zonya's surprisingly simple approach to mastering weight control is revealed."

"You'll discover that this is not another fad diet book. In fact, it's not a diet book at all. There is no diet mentality. Nothing to calculate. And never a reason to feel guilty!"

Take my word for it, this book is sooooo good! I read it in only a few days. I couldn't put it down! It teaches you how to eat well, gain health, and lose weight. You will LOVE this book, learn a LOT about proper nutrition, and lose weight too. I highly recommend it.

If you buy this book and read it, let me know what you thought about it, and your success stories. I am planning on putting the eight habits into practice. I am hoping to have a success story of my own based on this book soon! Let's pray and encourage each other!




This is Zonya Falco's counter-top coach Cookbook! This cookbook and many of the recipes are mentioned in the book "Water With Lemon." You're mouth will water reading about them! Yum!

"Did you know that Lickety-Split Meals can help you lose weight, control your diabetes, lower your cholesterol AND save you five hours a week?
Order Lickety-Split Meals!"

"Try one of the many easy, delicious and nutritous recipes from Lickety-Split Meals!"



Zonya Falco's counter-top coach cookbook for those who have Diabetes or a loved one with Diabetes.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

My Thoughts On Waiting, Waiting, and Waiting Some More....

I feel like I've been waiting, hoping, and praying for a long time for a miracle (Do you know that when I was single and praying the rosary for a good husband, I was also praying to be blessed with children after marriage? It's true! I prayed this prayer for several years!)! This month I thought maybe, just maybe, my waiting was over. You see, my cycle didn't arrive. However I didn't have any other symptoms. I talked with my Mom and she didn't have any symptoms either when she was pregnant with me - just the missed period. Well yesterday I finally bought a pregnancy test, prayed for God's will to be done, and guess what? Negative!

I feel like I've been waiting forever. It is so difficult to wait for something you want so much and to continue praying, hoping, and trusting. Especially at my age, which is forty three, when I had some aches and pains in my left ovary around Halloween, had spotting for several days around that time, and it seems my fertility is diminishing even more.

What more can I do to be able to get pregnant? How much more can I pray? Is there a child out there waiting for a good home? Someone who maybe needs a good Mother like me?

It just makes me feel so sad and I feel so discouraged sometimes. But I keep praying, hoping, and trying to trust!

I really hope and pray that God has a baby (or child) out there for us somewhere! I fear I will never have a positive pregnancy test!

Thank you so much for your prayers! Please know I'm praying for everyone and their intentions in my daily rosary and 7 Sorrows Rosary. You can always count on my prayers for you!

I feel like I would almost give anything to be able to have a baby and be a Mommy...almost anything!!

Waiting is so hard, isn't it? Especially when you want to be a Mommy and have a baby so much, yes?

In the meantime, while my waiting continues, I will go pick up my rosary! Praying the rosary helps give me the patience (?!) to continue waiting for my miracle. Praying the rosary helps give me the peace and comfort I need.

May God Bless you!
Maria

Feel Sad? Discouraged? Pray the Seven Sorrows Rosary!


The Promises of the Seven Sorrows Rosary

To St. Bridget Of Sweden (1303-1373)

1. I will grant peace to their families.

2. They will be enlightened about the Divine Mysteries.

3. I will console them in their pains and I will acompany them in their work.

4. I will give them as much as they ask for as long as it does not oppose the adorable will of my Divine Son or the santification of their souls.

5. I will defend them in their spiritual battles with the infernal enemy and I will protect them at every instant of their lives.

6. I will visibly help them at the moment of their death - they will see the face of their mother.

7. I have obtained this grace from my Divine Son, that those who propagate this devotion to my tears and dolars will be taken directly from this earthly life to eternal happiness, since all their sins will be forgiven and my Son will be their eternal consolation & joy.

To Marie Claire of Kibeho, Rwanda (1961-1994)

*With the recitation of Seven Sorrows Rosary, the hardest hearts shall change, if you pray it for yourself or for others.

*By the recitation of the Seven Sorrows Rosary, you shall be freed from obsessions and addictions.

*This rosary when said from the heart, it will win us true repentance of our sins and free our souls from guilt and remorse.

*Those who say it often, especially as recommended by Our Lady to Marie Claire, on Tuesdays; Fridays, shall obtain clear understanding of their weaknesses and laws causing them to sin and those things we don't like about ourselves and thought were a part of our character, shall change.

*You shall obtain whatever you ask for through this rosary, praying this rosary from the heart.

*More than ever, the world needs the Seven Sorrows Rosary.

Click here to buy Imaculee Ilibigiza's booklet "The Rosary of the 7 Sorrows As Taught by The Blessed Mother in Kebeho, Rwanda with reflections by Immaculee" and a 7 Sorrows Rosary of your own!

Ever since I bought my booklet and the rosary a week ago I've been praying it every day and it's been given me a lot of peace and comfort. Try praying it! It will help you too!

If you have a devotion to the seven sorrows rosary and received special graces from praying it, I would LOVE to hear your stories! Let's pray and encourage one another!

May God Bless you!

Maria

Friday, November 20, 2009

No Period Again - What's Going On?!

Dear Readers,

Isn't a lack of a period usually a sign of pregnancy? You would think so, right?

Well, NOT in my case! At the end of October around Halloween I had a few scary moments when my lower left side was aching and I had spotting for several days. A few weeks later when Aunt Flo didn't show up, I thought for a minute "Hey, maybe I'm pregnant! Finally! At last!" After all, we've been now TTC now for two years.

Today I finally bought a pregnancy test, took it, and guess what? Only one pink line showed up! Except I knew I probably wasn't pregnant. I didn't have any symptoms except a missed period.

So now I have to call my Napro doctor next week, let him know about this lack of period, and see what he recommends. When I didn't get my period after my surgery in April and called him, he told me to take my progesterone suppositories.

That would be fine except every time I take those darn things, they make my asthma worse. The last time I had to take them I needed to go see my asthma specialist and get a shot in the arm. Ouch! It really hurt!

I wonder, is this lack of period related to the lower left pain and spotting I had? Is there any way to correct this besides taking progesterone suppositories? Am I now going through peri-menopause? Also I don't think I'm ovulating on a regular basis anymore either. Do you think the two surgeries and removal of the endometriomas on both the ovaries damaged them? Or is it my age? Or both? I am not very happy about these latest developments and I guess all my worrying is not helping either. But what can I do?

I want to be a Mommy so much and pray all the time to be blessed with a child, but it seems what little fertility I might have is decreasing even more.

Maybe adoption is my only option? But what's so frustrating to me is this: Hubby and I have debt and we can't afford adoption right now. If only I was able to get pregnant and have my own child......well, I will keep praying, continue to try to be faithful, and try to trust but you know what? It's not easy at times! I keep on praying for a child, then get a symptom of maybe being pregnant like the lack of a period, get my hopes up, take a pregnancy test, and again it's negative! I feel like God keeps on saying "No" or "Wait" to me. I don't really understand why. But still I keep hoping and praying.

Do you know what's been helping me a lot lately? And giving me the peace and comfort I need so much about this whole wanting to be a Mommy thing? Praying my 54 day rosary novena and my new Seven Sorrows Rosary! I love praying both of these every day!

More on Imaculee and the Seven Sorrows Rosary soon!

Maybe you could pray for me? Thank you so much!

I will remember you in my thoughts and prayers!

May God Bless you.

Love,
Maria

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Need A Miracle? Pray the 54 Day Rosary Novena! It Really Works!



When I was a single lady, sad, discouraged, and thought I'd never meet a good Catholic gentleman to be my husband I discovered the "54 Day Rosary Novena". I prayed this novena several times over the years. It always gave me the peace and comfort I needed. As a single while praying this novena, I imagined Jesus wiping away my tears and the Blessed Mother whispering in my ear "Don't worry, we have someone just right for you!" And you know what? They did! I credit God, the Blessed Mother, and the rosary for giving me the graces I needed at the time and for helping my husband Ed to find me. We met on the Catholic Singles website catholicmatch. I had been a member on that website for three years and a half. Ed sent me that first email on Dec. 2005, we met in person on March 17th 2006, we became engaged on Sept. 17th 2006, and we received the Sacrament of Matrimony on June 16th 2007, the Feast of the Immaculate Heart of Mary! When choosing a wedding date, we wanted to pick a Marian Feast Day to thank the Blessed Mother for bringing us together and to share our special day with Her!

Now we are praying the 54 day rosary novena to be blessed with a child either through my womb or through adoption. Even though the doctors tell us we have a low chance of conceiving due to our ages and the endometriosis stage four, I know that with God nothing is impossible! Look at the miracles God performed on St. Anne and St. Elizabeth - both these Saints were given the grace to be able to conceive and bear children in their forties! When the tears start to stream down my face and my heart aches for a child, I pray the rosary and it gives me the peace and comfort I need. I like to picture the Blessed Mother in Heaven hearing my request and bringing it to the throne of her Son Jesus. I know that Jesus and the Blessed Mother knows the desire in my heart to be a Mother, trust that they are hearing my prayers, and trying the best I can in faith to believe that I will receive someday the most precious grace of motherhood!

The rosary is my favorite devotion. This 54 day rosary novena is my favorite novena. If you enjoy praying the rosary, received a special grace from praying the rosary or this 54 day rosary novena, I would really LOVE to hear your story! Your stories will encourage me to keep praying the rosary and increase my faith and trust that my prayers will be answered someday too! Thank you so much! I will be looking forward to hearing from you and hopefully hearing your stories of prayers answered! I can't wait to hear them and really hope you will consider sharing! I am hoping too that my story about praying the 54 day rosary novena will encourage others to try praying this beautiful novena! It really works! My husband and I are proof!

I will remember you and your intentions in my daily rosary.

May God Bless us all!

Love,
Maria

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Pregnant? Hoping To Concieve? St. Gerald Mothers Prayer Cloth Package!

Finally! A new post! Lately it's just been too painful for me to talk about endometriosis and infertily. I felt I needed a little break.

I found these BEAUTIFUL prayer cloths touched to the relics of several saints. They have St. Padre Pio, St. Therese, St. Gerald, St. Padre Pio, Mary Undoer Of Knots, and many others. I have bought several and highly recommend them. Two years ago when I was newly married and had just moved to my husband's city I prayed with the Mary Undoer of Knots prayer cloth for a new job and found a great one a short time later!

The Cukierski Family has many WONDERFUL and RARE Sacramentals! Please do visit them and check them out!

Click Here to See Beautiful Prayer Cloths Touched to Many Relics!

Thinking of you all and Praying for you!

P.S. The Cukierski Family also has a LOVELY St. Gerald package for Mothers to Be and for all of us who pray to be blessed with children! I have this package and highly recommend it!

Click Here To See the St. Gerald Mother's Package Touched to Many Relics!

May God Bless you!

Love,
Maria In Mass

Monday, July 13, 2009

Using God's word to be able to become pregnant

Lately I have read several powerful testimonies written by women who had a difficult time getting pregnant. These women searched the Bible for scripture verses relevant to pregnancy and motherhood, said these scripture verses out loud every day personalized them, used "I" statements, thanked God and praised Him for answering their prayers even when things looked bleak, kept on persevering, and many of them were eventually blessed with miracle pregnancies and children. I have decided to do the same hoping and praying these scripture verses will encourage me, increase my faith, trust in God, and if it's God's will for my husband and me, will bless us with children.

The most important thing I think is to be faithful to God, continue praying even when nothing seems to be happening, and believe your prayers will be answered in God's timing, not ours! I learned this when I was single and praying the rosary for a good Catholic husband. I prayed the same prayer for several years, seemed to receive no answers, and for many years things looked rather bleak. Back then I didn't think I would be able to find a good Catholic gentleman to be my husband, but some way, somehow I managed to hang in there (even through several disappointing experiences with some guys on the Catholic Single websites I belonged to at the time), I kept picking up those rosary beads and praying, and God did answer my prayers by blessing me with my husband Ed.

Matthew 19:26

With God all things are possible.


Psalm 37:4

I will delight myself also in the Lord and He will give me the desires and secret petitions of my heart.

Genesis 25:21

And I will pray much to the Lord for my wife to be able to bear children and the Lord will grant my prayer and my wife Maria to become pregnant.

Psalm 113:9

God will make me a home-maker and a joyful mother of children. Praise the Lord! Hallelujah!

Genesis 30:22-24

God will remember me like He did Rachel and answer my pleading and make it possible for me too to have children. Praise the Lord! Hallelujah!

Deuteronomy 28:4

Blessed shall be the fruit of my body.

Matthew 6:33

I will seek first of all his kingdom and His righteousness and then all these things taken together will be given to me besides.

Exodus 23:25-6

We shall serve the Lord my God; He will bless our bread and water and He will take infertility, endometriosis, fibroids, ovarian dysfunction, and low sperm count from our midst. We will not lose our young by miscarriage or be barren in God’s land. God will fulfill the number of our days.

Mark 11-23-25

Truly God tells me, when I say to this mountain of infertility, endometriosis, fibroids, ovarian dysfunction, and low sperm count be lifted up and thrown into the sea I do not doubt at all in my heart but believe that what God says will take place, it will be done for me. For this reason God tells me, whatever I ask for in prayer, if I believe that it will be granted to me, and I will get it.


1 Samuel 1:20 27:28

Just like Hannah I have asked God for a child. For this child I have prayed and the Lord will grant my petition made to Him. I too will be a home-maker and joyful mother of children. Praise the Lord. Hallelujah!


Father, I praise you! Thank you for making me a home-maker and a joyful mother of children. Praise the Lord! Hallelujah!

My prayer and hope is that these scripture verses will also encourage others suffering from the cross of infertility to do the same!

May God Bless you!

Love,
MT :)

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Scam Warning: E-Books Offering Natural Cures For Endometriosis And Infertility

I have noticed in my search for help with endometriosis something disturbing. There seems to be some e-books out there claiming to contain natural cures to get rid of endometriosis and help us to finally be able to conceive. Some of these e-books seem to be legit while others seem to be trying to scam and take advantage of those of us who suffer from this painful condition who might already have our hearts broken from not being able to have children.

I am glad I did my research on one such e-book Example of an e-book scammer here! written by a "Sharon Cresler". I googled the name of her e-book "Endometriosis Defeated" and discovered the following website with more information about this e-book scammer:

Article warning about how "Endometriosis Defeated" written by "Sharon Cresler" is a scam!

Ladies, please be careful of some of these so called e-books available on the internet claiming to contain natural cures that can help you get rid of endometriosis and to help you conceive. According to the website above, this "Sharon Cresler" is really a man and he has written many e-books on a variety of different conditions, which all seem to offer the SAME NATURAL CURES in the e-books. How do I know this? Because I read the information on the above website and did a google search myself. I also discovered a way to download several of her e-books for free keep reading!)and read them all.

I think it is so cruel of some of these people to write these e-books targeting poor people who suffer from these conditions claiming to offer the magic cure just to make a buck! Really? We can help cure our endometriosis by drinking borax or baking soda? Can we really drink those things without getting sick or ending up in the hospital? Yikes!

P.S. If you visit the last website I listed and read all the information carefully, you will learn how to download that e-book for free too.

May God Bless you.
MT

An excuse to eat more tomatoes maybe?

In my research for foods that could help other ladies and myself who suffer with endometriosis, I found this exciting article:

Lycopene found in tomatoes could ease the pain of endometriosis!

Funny thing: My Mom often grew tomatoes in her garden and nicknamed me "the tomato thief" because growing up I'd eat all the tomatoes!

I still LOVE tomatoes to this day!

May God Bless you.

Love,
MT :)

Saturday, June 6, 2009

If you have endometriosis or pcos, you should consider purchasing this book!

Well, no big surprise here, but it doesn't look like we are pregnant again this month (I took another pregnancy test and again, it was negative! When that test seemed to smirk at me with it's so maddening "Not pregnant" message I felt like throwing the whole box into the dumpster! LOL! I feel like the words "Barren as a stone" should be stamped across my forehead though!). However rather than sit here on my somewhat still moderate size botton LOL and feel sorry for myself, maybe I can help and encourage other women instead! I can also pray for you too!

This past week I ordered the new 4th edition of Marilyn Shannon's book "Fertility, Cycles, and Nutrition". I LOVE this book and so far haven't been able to put it down!
In the new edition she has very helpful, updated, and expanded information about different disorders and causes of infertility such as age related infertility, secondary infertility, endometriosis (which I was diagnosed with and had two surgeries so far), pcos, luteal phase defect (which I also was diagnosed with and is related to endometriosis by the way), different thyroid conditions, male infertility, ect., a definition what each disorder is, what may cause it, nutrition recommendations to improve each disorder, what vitamin and supplements may help it, and lots more.

This book and it's recommendations have already proved well worth the $12.89 price tag I paid for it at amazon.com! Since devouring all the information in the book, I have already and am in the process of trying to improve my diet, ordering the vitamins she recommends for ladies suffering from endometriosis and luteal phase defect, and looking into where I can purchase the supplements recommended.

If you suffer from infertility, endometriosis, luteal phase defect, pcos, a thyroid condition, age related infertility, secondary infertility, ect. I highly recommend this most excellant book! I pray it helps you as much as it has already helped me! I love you, Marilyn Shannon and thank you for writing this book!

Friday, May 22, 2009

First Menses after Laparoscopy - less pain!

Thank you, dear readers and friends for all your prayers, encouragement, and comments! I really appreciate them all!

The good news is that I survived my first menses after my laparoscopy LOL! In the past when I had my menses due to the horrid endometriosis all four or five days of the menses were so painful that I had to constantly pop prescription pain killers. Now after my laparoscopy only the first two days were painful. When day three of the menses arrived and I felt no pain, I was shocked but pleasantly surprised. I was thrilled when day four and five of the menses were also pain free in this cycle. Wow, is this what a normal menses feels like? And here I thought for years before I was diagnosed with endometriosis stage four that having pain every day of your menses was normal and happened to every woman! NOT true!

Some more good news too! I have now lost thirty pounds and continue to lose every day. My biggest challenge is sticking with this anti- endomentriosis diet, finding things to satisfy my hunger, and staying away from anything with meat or dairy. When I started losing weight in August 2008 on the advice of my Napro doctor, I was barely five feet and weighed 179. Now I weigh 147. I am not sure though what my goal weight should be for my height and build. I am going to ask my Napro doctor during my next appointment on June 19th!

Some other things that have helped and encouraged me are: trying to do more exercise, listening to the new "Letting Go" relaxing CD that I bought last Saturday at an all day workshop I attended for work, and getting myself into bed earlier. Also right now I'm in the middle of praying the rosary, praying a novena to St. Gerard, and a novena to St. Gianna Beretta Molla to either be blessed with a child or to be able to adopt.

Thanks again to everyone for all the encouragement, prayers, and comments! It really means a lot! I will remember you all and your intentions in my prayers especially my daily rosary!

May everyone have a blessed and safe weekend!

Love,
MT

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Infertility is heartbreaking!

Question: If it's not God's will for me to be a Mother, then why did He put this intense desire in my heart to want so much to be one? Isn't that a sign of God's will?
My heart and arms ache so much to have my own child and to be a Mommy. I know I would be a good one. I have been a daycare teacher for over twenty years and I don't want to blog, but many people I've worked with and parents of the children I cared for have commented many times "How come you don't have any children? You would be such a good Mom someday!"

The answer I used to give them: "Because I am waiting for God and the Blessed Mother to send me a good Catholic gentleman. I am waiting for God's will." I tried so hard to be good when I was younger, wait patiently (!?), and pray my rosary every day.

Okay, well I prayed and waited a long time to meet my Ed. He is well worth the wait!"

But did I wait too long? I am almost forty three now (August 2nd) and found out last year in February 12 after my first surgery I had endometrosis stage four. Why do I feel like I'm being punished somehow? What did I do wrong??? You know what's more difficult than waiting years to meet a good Catholic man? Dealing with endometriosis or some other type of reproductive disorder and infertility! It's so heartbreaking! Yes, it breaks my heart for everyone who has to go through this and me too. So sad.

Sorry for the gloomy post (I also am on my first period since my last surgery and it's a killer! I need more pain meds!), but I just wonder - is it God's will for us to have our own child or maybe adopt? We don't really have the financial resources or room in our condo right now to adopt. How can you tell God's will for you? I feel the only way we will be able to be parents is to blessed with our own child. But I'm wondering, is this God's will for us? Do I keep praying for this intention? I really need to start praying my rosary more. Praying the rosary always makes me feel better. I LOVE the rosary and the Blessed Mother! Jesus and His Mother have always helped me!

May I please ask for prayers, please? And for all my friends going through similiar trials? Thank you so much! I know I am blessed to have Ed for my husband, but we want a child so much too. My fear is that we will never be blessed with a child and I will never be able to get pregnant. I feel like I'm trying to climb a big mountain, but can't.

Okay, I'm going to go now to pray the rosary, pray for others, pray for myself, and try to get my mind off this.

May God Bless you all.

Love,
Maria

Asthma flare up probably due to progesterone and still offline :(

First, the good news! My menses returned yesterday, but it was very painful so I'm taking my pain medications. I'm so glad I called my Napro doctor about my missing in action menses at the end of last month and he suggested taking my progesterone 200 mg suppositories for ten days. It is great that the progesterone helped bring the menses back, but bad that apparantly the progesterone caused an asthma flare up for me. I am not sure if it is the progesterone itself that causes the asthma flare ups or if the asthma flare ups happen the week before the menses is due, but it seems to me every time I take the progesterone suppositories the asthma flares up.

I purchase the progesterone suppositories from a compounding pharmacy in my city and each progesterone suppository is contained in this pink plastic casing. I think during my next appointment with my Napro doctor on June 16th we're going to have to talk about the progesterone suppositories, the affect it seems to have on my asthma, and discussing alternative ways we can encourage my progesterone levels. My Napro doctor did give me a slip to bring to my local's doctor's office for blood work to check my estrogen and progesterone levels so I'm going to set up some appointments to do that this cycle. Hopefully now that I've been taking the progesterone suppositories for awhile my body is better able to produce more progesterone on it's own. I'm also hoping that losing thirty pounds, exercising, taking "Fertility Blend" from GNC, ect. has helped boost the progesterone levels.

Last Thursday evening was kind of scary. I had been wheezing all week, but of course when I went to bed and was lying down it was worse. Who can relax when they hear themselves making scary wheezing sounds? Not me! It also didn't help when husband commented "I hope you're not going to Heaven tonight!" Yes, my goal is Heaven but if it's okay with God I'd like to stick around here for awhile. It's all up to God of course. Anyway, I had to get up and take a nebulizer treatment which definitely helped, but only for four hours. Needless to say, I didn't get that much sleep Thursday night. Also, when I took my peak flow it was about 200. Not good. Usually my peak flow is in the low to mid 300's.

Friday morning I had a dentist appointment and called to get an appointment with my asthma specialist. They told me to come in right after my dentist appointment, but didn't tell me what time. Since we only have one car, my husband had the car for work and came to pick me up around 12:30. We stopped for a quick lunch and then he dropped me off at the asthma specialist's office. Unfortanately by the time I arrived there, my doctor had already left for the day. Oh no - I have to see someone and get some meds please! Thank God, they understood and fit me in to see this other doctor there. They took my oxygen level and it was 96 (usually it's a 99 or 100). He instructed the medical assistants to give me a big shot of steroids in the arm and boy, did that hurt like heck but hey it did the trick! They also gave me a nebulizer treatment, a nice prescription for predisone, wrote me a doctor's note for work, and sent me on my way.

I'm feeling much better, but still wheezing a little bit, cough a lot, and have a lot of flem. Yuck. But thank God, I am breathing much easier and now I can sleep. Thank you God for my good medical care!

As for my computer, I'm still offline and antsy to get back on my computer. The problem is that my computer is a Dell and only certain parts fit in a Dell computer, which you have to (surprise, surprise) buy from Dell. Ed bought me a new computer case, power supply, and video card, but the video card is not compatible with my current set up. Tonight he is planning to go online to one of the discount computer places and buy me the parts I need, have them shipped to me at my work place, and then he will build me a new system.

I really miss my friends online, writing emails, checking all of your blogs, looking at all my pictures on my hard drive, reading my e-books, ect. I think I need some snail mail! Anybody enjoy writing snail mail? How about email? You are always welcome to email me at prayrosary4life@aol.com. It seems nowadyas the only email I'm recieving is junk mail and the 411 emails asking for business partners from overseas. I would LOVE to recieve a nice friendly email from a friend sometime! Thank you so much!

You are all in my thoughts and prayers!

May God Bless you all.

Love,
MT <----using someone else's computer right now again :(

Monday, May 11, 2009

Does Taking Progesterone Suppositories Worsen Asthma?

I am still trying to focus on getting healthy, eating better, and doing some exercise. Unfortunately due to perhaps sheer laziness, having previous low energy due to probably the endometriosis, and moderate persistent asthma, I'm not very good at exercising. However before I was married in June 2007, Leslie Sansone's books and dvds were recommended to me. I bought both her books and her "Walk At Home" DVDs. I am now doing her two mile walk DVD every other day. I am finding that after work I'm looking forward to doing the 30 minute DVD and it's getting easier to do. I'm also discovering that I'm losing weight faster by doing this DVD.

Last July 31st 2008 before my first visit with my new Napro doctor, I weighed about 176 pounds. Now I weigh about 149 pounds. My goal is to reach at least 145 by the time of my next visit to my Napro doctor on June 19th.

By the way, I spoke by phone to my Napro doctor and told him how my menses never arrived during the first month after my surgery (April 1st). He asked me if I had any fertile signs and I told him "No, my chart is now full of green stamps." He told me that he thinks the absence of my menses is due to the stress of my surgery. He advised me to take my lovely progesterone suppositories for ten days and my menses should show up a few days after I stop taking them. But if it doesn't show up, then I might have to go in for some blood tests.

Could you please pray for me that my cycle returns to normal? I would really appreciate it so much! Thanks! Hubby and I are still hoping and praying that we will be blessed with a child so we really need my cycle to return to normal soon! I am trying hard not to stress out and worry about this, but it's not easy especially when my forty third birthday is just around the corner (August 2nd)..

Also, do any of you ladies have asthma and take progesterone especially the suppositories? Do you find that your asthma worsens while on the progesterone? Or is it just me?

Another question - have any of you ladies been prescribed progesterone for awhile, were taken off them for awhile, and had blood tests done which showed that your progesterone levels improved? Just wondering.

I feel better generally while taking the progesterone, BUT it seems to make my asthma worsen while taking it. When I stop taking it there is a big improvement in my breathing about 24 hours after I stop taking it. I'm wondering, is it the progesterone that is making my asthma worsen? Is there anything I can take naturally through food or supplements which would improve my progesterone levels? Any help on this would be appreciated! Thanks!

Praying for you all in my daily rosary and for all your intentions.

May God Bless you!

Love,
MT :)

Update on computer situation

Sorry, I haven't been able to post in a few days but the husband is still working on my computer. My computer is now pulled apart and sitting on our stove. We took several trips to 'Best Buy' this weekend to purchase computer parts. The only problem was, we weren't sure which part was no longer working. The good news though was that everything on my hard drive was safe. Thank you, God and the Blessed Mother!

However my wonderful husband (a computer technician - YAY for me!) determined it was the video card that shorted out last Friday. He bought me a new video card at 'Best Buy' tonight. He plans on installing the new video card sometime tonight so hopefully I will be up and running again soon. I can't wait! Meanwhile we're sharing his laptop. Thank you, dear hubby! I love you!

May God Bless you all.

Love,
MT :)

Friday, May 8, 2009

My computer died and now I'm going through withdrawal!

Bad news! This afternoon while I was surfing friends blogs, my computer decided to die on me. I tried fixing the darn thing by turning it off and on, checking to make sure everything was plugged in, ect. but it wouldn't boot back up. I was so upset. Luckily for me, my husband is a computer technician. He checked it out, noticed a burning smell, and announced it's either the power supply or the motherboard. I sobbed to the poor husband "Oh no! What about all my data? I have several years worth of digital pictures on there, my fiction writing, my e-books, my e-mails, everything!" and "Honey, race you to the car! Let's go right now to 'Best Buy' to buy a power supply!" but Ed shook his head at me. He says he already spent too much money on my six year old computer and he'd rather just buy a new computer, probably a lap top. "Great! Let's hop in the car and go to 'Best Buy' right now!" Again, dear hubby shook his head at me. "No Maria, we will order it online. It's cheaper that way." I replied "Um okay, but how long will it take to arrive if we order this thing online?" Ed responded "Depends. Probably a few days." I answered brightly "Great! Let's go online right now on your work laptop and order it right away!" Ed just gave me a look and exclaimed "Wow, you really are addicted, aren't you?" Yes, yes, I really want my computer, my data, ect. Waaaaaaaaah!

And now after all that sobbing over my dumb computer, I have a BIG headache! Advil PM here I come! What in the world am I going to do without my computer? I love to go online, write on my blog, check out my friend's blogs, check my emails, ect.? I'm going to go through withdrawal! Waaaaaaah! Yeah, yeah, yeah, I guess I'm really addicted!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Negative Pregnancy Test at the Doctor's today (sigh)

I had a lovely appointment with the dermatologist today to check my moles (Before I was married my previous primary physician gave me a mole check during my last physical with her and found a suspicious mole, which was removed. It turned out to be two degrees from developing into a melanoma! Yikes!). She did not find any suspicious moles, but removed two moles - one near my left elbow and one on the bottom of my left cheek. Ouch! They are being sent to the lab to be examined.

While I was there, the dermatologist who was very nice noticed on my intake sheet under surgery that I recently had a laparoscopy. I told her my cycle was currently MIA. She asked me if I wanted to take a pregnancy test. I piped up and said "Sure!" While the test was being run, I prayed asking the Blessed Mother and St. Gianna for their intercession. I also took out my St. Gianna relic card and medal and stuck it on my belly for a moment while sending up a quick prayer.

As always, the test was negative. However I expected that. They are always negative. I wonder, will the day ever arrive when a pregnancy test is positive?

I know I am so blessed to have met a wonderful Catholic gentleman and married him, but I really, REALLY, REALLY want to be a Mommy and a Stay at Home Wife/Mother. I have a whole bookshelf full of books on pregnancy, how to take care of a baby, attachment parenting, raising children, homeschooling, books for children on the faith and saints, ect. I love to visit blogs of Catholic families where the Mom is a stay at home wife and Mother. I enjoy browsing amazon.com and barnes and noble.com looking for books on taking care of babies and raising children. I also find myself very often visiting websites selling baby slings, cloth diapers, and other items for babies tempted to purchase them for our future children.

I am trying so hard to follow this anti-endometriosis diet, stay away from meat and dairy, take my vitamins, drink water, and lose weight. I used to weigh 179. Now I weigh 153. I also try to exercise, but I don't exercise as often as I should. I know I should be doing some form of exercise every day. The problem is, that I also have moderate persistant asthma and wheeze a lot. I've been called Wheezy by many people. I am trying to do everything that I can to be healthier, boost my immune system, try to prevent the endometriosis from re-curing (I think having two surgeries in two years is enough!), and pray, pray, pray. But still even when I try to do all these things, it doesn't seem I am able to become pregnant. I keep wondering, is it too late for me? Should I give up? I'm going to be forty three August 2nd. My husband is going to be forty five on July 25th.

The sad thing is, I believe that the only way we are going to be able to become parents is by being able to conceive our own child. Why is it so many couples are able to conceive and we can't? All I ask for is just one. I know it's all up to God and I'm beginning to think maybe it isn't His will for us. What makes me very sad and frustrates me is this: the only way we are going to be able to have a child is to be able to conceive our own. A relative told me about foster care, how if you do foster care you might be able to adopt the child, and the state will pay for it. I was very excited about this and talked to Ed about it. But then we visited a friend who has done foster care for a long time and while we were there, the foster child (a teenager) was on the run, wouldn't attend school, was giving the foster mother a lot of guilt trips and grief. Well after that experience, my husband was turned off by the idea of foster care. As for adoption, I am very open to adoption and we even attended a seminar run by Catholic Charities. However the impression Ed received from the seminar was that in order to adopt a couple needs to be married for three years (our second anniversary is coming up on June 16th) and we would be given an older child due to our ages. Well, that would be fine with me. I would love to be able to give a needy child a home. The big problem is though, that we don't have the money to be able to adopt. We just can't afford it right now. Very sad, but true.

So the only way that we can become parents and have a child, is to be able to conceive one, our own home grown one. Okay, we are trying, we've had about three womb blessings from Priests so far, I have special sacramentals that could fill a room to be able to conceive, but still we haven't been successful. So frustrating! My heart and arms aches to be able to hold and care for a child and to be a Mother. I was pretty shy when I was younger and wouldn't admit it, but I've been babysitting since I was thirteen, I've always loved children, and always wanted them. Why is it that I can't even have one?

Yeah, yeah, yeah I know, I just had a laparoscopy on April 1st and my body is still healing. But still when my cycle went AWOL last month and still hasn't returned, I let myself think for a few days that maybe I was pregnant. Why? Because never in my life has my cycle ever went MIA. I've always been regular. When I was heavier my cycle always appeared on days 26 or 27 most times and once in awhile on day 28. My cycle never arrives past day 28. But now that I'm a little lighter, my cycle arrives on day 24. So yeah, I let my hopes get a little high again only to have them shot down again a few days later when I took the store bough pregnancy test and it was a BFN. I've always thought that pregnancy would be the main reason why a cycle wouldn't arrive. Until I posted about the missing cycle and heard from you other ladies about surgery delaying a cycle, it didn't occur to me that the reason for the missing cycle was the surgery. Oh well.

By the way, I called my Napro doctor, told him about the missing period, and he asked me if I had any signs of fertility. I told him "No, none." He recommended I start a ten day course of progesterone suppositories to jump start the cycle. I started taking the progesterone last night.

I just continue hoping and praying for a miracle. I still hope and pray that the Blessed Mother and St. Gianna can help me. I try to pray the rosary and ask St. Gianna for her intercession every day. Maybe someday my prayer will come true! Would anybody be willing to pray to the Blessed Mother and St. Gianna for me asking them for their intercession? It would mean so much to me! I'd really appreciate it so much! Thank you so much!

I think this Friday when I get paid again I will visit the St. Gianna Shrine online and order a St. Gianna medal with the chain and the bracelet too. Did I tell you that if we are ever blessed with a child and if it's a girl, we will name her Gianna Mary Clair?

All of you remain in my thoughts and prayers!

May God Bless you all.

Love,
MT

Monday, April 27, 2009

I took a pregnancy test and....

Thank you to everyone who posted a reply below!

I did take a pregnancy test today and it was a big fat negative. I was so disapointed. Again, I had gotten my hopes up that I was pregnant. After taking the test and seeing the BFN result though, I re-read the directions of the test. Guess what it said? Drinking a lot of fluids before taking the test can affect the result. Well, right before running over to the store to buy the test I drank about two bottles of water. Oops!

I still have this feeling that the test result was correct and I'm not pregnant though because the only symptom I have is the absence of my period.

The question is, how do I chart this on my Creighton chart? Green stamps through the rest of the cycle and the next line on the chart too until the period decides to show up?

Also, if you don't have a period one cycle does that mean I'm probably not going to ovulate this cycle? And I probably won't ovulate again until after the period arrives?

Do you think I should call my Napro doctor and tell them my period never showed up? Yeah, now I fear that it might never return. When I signed the permission papers for the two procedures I remember reading that there were certain risks to the surgery and this was one of them.

If this isn't a pregnancy, I really hope and pray that the period will return next cycle! Gee, did I really just type that? LOL! I have to admit that in one way it's nice not getting a period and having to deal with the pain, fearing the endometriosis might return again, more endometriomas might form, ect. But darn it, I do need that period to return if I ever want to get pregnant and have a baby!

I guess I will just have to do what I always do: continue to pray, trust in God, and have faith! Now where did I put my rosary beads? That's what I do when I'm nervous, worried, or upset about something. I pray the rosary. It really helps me, gives me such peace, and comfort.

Thanks again everyone!

May God Bless you.
MT :)

Sunday, April 26, 2009

normal not to get period after laparoscopy? Or Not?

I am feeling a little bit confused right now. I have a question for everyone.

Is it normal after having a laparoscopy (I had one on April 1st 2009)for your period not to come or to be late? I've always been regular. My periods always come on time. They have always averaged around anywhere from 24-28 days. Well today is day 29 and guess what? No period! I'm shocked and yeah, a little confused. Is this normal? Has this ever happened to any of you?

And yes, there is a chance we could be pregnant. We did TTC a few times during my recovery time. But I have no signs (a week ago on Sunday I did feel a little sick once in the morning, but nothing since!)or symptoms.

Last year when I had the first surgery, a lovely laparotomy, my period arrived the day after. Again, I've always been regular. It has always arrived on time.

Thanks!

Love,
MT

Saturday, April 18, 2009

St. Gianna Novena Begins Today - Will You Join us please? :)

St. Gianna's Feast Day is April 28th.

Please join us in praying this novena from April 18th until the 27th.

Thank you so much!

Novena To Obtain Graces Through Saint Gianna Beretta Molla

God, our Father, You have granted to Your church the gift of Gianna Beretta Molla. In her youth she lovingly sought You and drew other young people to You, involving them, through apostolic witness and Catholic Action, in the care of the sick and aged, to help and comfort them.

We thank You for the gift of this young woman, so deeply committed to You. Through her example grant us the grace to consecrate our lives to Your service, for the joy of our brothers and sisters.

Glory be …

Jesus, Redeemer of mankind, You called Saint Gianna to exercise the medical profession as a mission for the comfort of bodies and souls. In her suffering fellow men and in the little ones, deprived of all support, she saw You.

We thank You for having revealed Yourself to this servant as “one who serves” and who soothes the sufferings of men. Treasuring her example may we become generous Christians at the service of our brothers and sisters, especially those with whom You deign to share Your Cross.

Glory be…

God, Sanctifying Spirit, who love the Church as Your Bride, You poured into the heart of Saint Gianna a share of Your Love so that she could radiate it in her family, and thus cooperate with You in the wonderful plan of creation, and give life to new children who could know and love You.

We thank You for this model wife and, through her encouraging witness, we beg You to grant to our families the serene and Christian presence of mothers committed to transform their homes into cenacles of faith and love, rich with generous activity and sanctifying service.

Glory be…

O God, Creator and lover of mankind, You were close to Saint Gianna when, affected by illness, she was in the painful dilemma of choosing between her own life and the life of the child whom she was carrying in herself, a gift long-awaited. Trusting You alone, and aware of Your Commandment to respect human life, Gianna found the courage to do her duty as a mother and to say “yes” to the new life of her baby, generously sacrificing her own. Through the intercession of Mary, Mother of Jesus, and after the example of Gianna, inspire all mothers to welcome with love the sparkle of new life. Grant us the grace we are praying for …………. and the joy to find an inspiration in Saint Gianna who, as a model spouse and mother, after the example of Christ, gave up her life for the life of others.

Hail Mary…

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

My New Anti-endometriosis Diet

It's now been almost two weeks from the laparoscopy and I'm feeling pretty good. The pain from the three incisions are just about gone. They are healing nicely. I'm not spotting anymore and feeling like raw hamburger meat inside. I think the worst side effect from the laparoscopy was the painful gas attacks especially when I needed to ahem, make a visit to the bathroom. But I was told by husband after the procedure on April 1st that the surgeon told him I had a lot of endometriosis stage four as well as adhesians and he did a lot of cleaning out. I have a strong suspicion that the surgeon found some endometriosis near my bladder and bowels and did some cleaning out there, which explains the painful gas attacks whenever I had to go number two. I will have a chance next week on Tuesday April 21st to ask him this and many other questions when I have my post op appointment.

I'm also wondering, is it common to lose weight after surgery? I have lost six pounds since the surgery! My husband seems to think that it's from all the endometriosis and adhesians being removed. It could be my new anti-endometriosis diet. I bought a whole bunch of books on endometriosis before my surgery. The most helpful ones and the ones I highly recommend to others suffering from endometriosis are the following:

Alternative Medicine Guide: Women's Heath Series Volume 1

Natural Treatment Of Fibroid Tumors and Endometriosis

Fibroid Tumors & Endometriosis Self Help Book

Recipes For The Endometriosis Diet

Reclaim Your Life ...Your Guide to Aid Healing of Endometriosis

If you can only purchase a couple, I especially recommend the last two books!

Basically the kind of diet recommended for endometriosis is a diet rich in fruit and vegetables. Eating meat especially ham and red meat, dairy, wheat, eggs, sugar, and caffeine is NOT recommended for those of us with endometriosis.

If you are interested and want to find out more about this diet, I recommend visiting the following website, which has been very helpful to me. On a side note: the owner of this website is the author of the last two books listed above.

Endo-Resolved

The challenge for me is I will be returning to work in a few days. I am a teacher at a pre-school. I have been teaching for almost twenty one years now (Not in the same place. Nineteen years at a pre-school in my hometown before marriage and almost two years at a new pre-school in my new city where I moved to after getting married on June 16th 2007.)and the pre-school where I work serves a hot lunch every day, which always includes dairy and meat. The teachers are encouraged to eat with the children. I am resolved to stick to this anti- endometriosis diet to try to prevent it from returning (Believe me, having to undergo a surgery every year does NOT appeal to me at all!). However it looks like at work I will be drinking water, Chrystal Light, and fruits and vegetables. I might have to bring food from home in case I get hungry. Also, I wonder is popcorn okay to eat? I LOVE popcorn! I will have to look that up in the book. I suspect popcorn is okay because of the fiber content.

Okay, so that's what I am doing now. My Napro doctor wants me to continue eating healthy, take the Naltrexone every night, Vitamin D, Magnesium, exercise, and try to lose some weight. My goal here is to be healthy, heal my body, try to do everything I can to prevent the pain and endometriosis from returning, and try to conceive.

Two questions:

1) What liquids do you recommend? I am not a fan of plain water. I like the flavored kind. Any suggestions on healthy things I can add to water? Any recipes for healthy drinks? I'd love to hear what works for you! Thanks!

2) Hubby and I are usually out and about on the weekends. I'm ashamed to admit it, but McDonalds used to be a favorite place for us to stop at for lunch on the go. What can I purchase at a fast food place that is healthy and filling, which won't deter from my anti-endometriosis diet? Again, hamburgers and soft drinks are a big no-no according to this diet. If anybody has any suggestions, I'd love to hear them! Thank you so much!

May God Bless you.

Love,
MT :)

Thursday, April 9, 2009

St. Gianna's Feast Day April 28!

Would anybody be willing to join me in praying this novena from April 18th to April 27th for all of those of us wanting to be Mothers suffering from endometriosis, pcos, infertility, ect. to be blessed with children, if that is God's will for us? Please? It would really mean so much to me! Thank you so much!

Novena To Obtain Graces Through Saint Gianna Beretta Molla

God, our Father, You have granted to Your church the gift of Gianna Beretta Molla. In her youth she lovingly sought You and drew other young people to You, involving them, through apostolic witness and Catholic Action, in the care of the sick and aged, to help and comfort them.

We thank You for the gift of this young woman, so deeply committed to You. Through her example grant us the grace to consecrate our lives to Your service, for the joy of our brothers and sisters.

Glory be …

Jesus, Redeemer of mankind, You called Saint Gianna to exercise the medical profession as a mission for the comfort of bodies and souls. In her suffering fellow men and in the little ones, deprived of all support, she saw You.

We thank You for having revealed Yourself to this servant as “one who serves” and who soothes the sufferings of men. Treasuring her example may we become generous Christians at the service of our brothers and sisters, especially those with whom You deign to share Your Cross.

Glory be…

God, Sanctifying Spirit, who love the Church as Your Bride, You poured into the heart of Saint Gianna a share of Your Love so that she could radiate it in her family, and thus cooperate with You in the wonderful plan of creation, and give life to new children who could know and love You.

We thank You for this model wife and, through her encouraging witness, we beg You to grant to our families the serene and Christian presence of mothers committed to transform their homes into cenacles of faith and love, rich with generous activity and sanctifying service.

Glory be…

O God, Creator and lover of mankind, You were close to Saint Gianna when, affected by illness, she was in the painful dilemma of choosing between her own life and the life of the child whom she was carrying in herself, a gift long-awaited. Trusting You alone, and aware of Your Commandment to respect human life, Gianna found the courage to do her duty as a mother and to say “yes” to the new life of her baby, generously sacrificing her own. Through the intercession of Mary, Mother of Jesus, and after the example of Gianna, inspire all mothers to welcome with love the sparkle of new life. Grant us the grace we are praying for …………. and the joy to find an inspiration in Saint Gianna who, as a model spouse and mother, after the example of Christ, gave up her life for the life of others.

Hail Mary…

Thursday, April 2, 2009

update on my surgery

The surgery went well yesterday. The most difficult part was the fasting from solid foods the day before, but I have a wonderful husband who went out and bought me some broth, jello cups, and these delicious fruit Popsicles. There was a bit of a wait before they did the surgery (the surgery was supposed to be scheduled at 12:30), but the nurses and doctors kept checking in on me and gave me excellent care. When it came time for them to wheel me down to the operating room thanks to the anesthesia I was already out.

When it was over it was about 2:45 and they wheeled me to the recovery room to doze off a little. When I was more awake around 4:30 they gave me some delicious apple juice and buttered toast. Then they told me I should try getting up and getting dressed. I felt like I was half asleep when I stood up on my two feet, but I managed okay. They told me they called my husband Ed to park the truck right outside the day surgery door and call after he did that. But no call ever came. Finally at 5:30 I told them "I think my husband is waiting for me in the waiting room." The nurse told me she would bring me there, grabbed a wheelchair, and I was off to the waiting room. It turned out I was right. Ed was waiting for me there and our truck was right outside the door. As we were heading out to the truck I learned that the nurse who was pushing my wheelchair had endometriosis too. She told me she knew a lot of women who had it.

When we were driving home I asked Ed if the surgeon spoke to him because he didn't come and speak to me (The surgeon told me before the surgery that if he spoke to me afterwards I wouldn't remember anything he said, which is true!). Ed told me that the surgeon reported I had no endometriomas (cysts on my ovaries), but I did have a lot of endometriosis and adhesians. The surgeon said that he took an "aggresive" approach to getting it all. The surgeon also reported that my ovaries looked fine and my fallopian tubes were clear, not blocked! I was very surprised to hear that. I really thought he was going to find more endometriomas and my tubes were blocked. I had also been afraid that the surgeon would have to perform open stomach surgery again like I had for my first surgery on February 12th 2008, but no he was able to perform the keyhole surgery through my belly button. Best of all, I didn't have to stay overnight in the hospital and was able to leave the same day.

I am at my Mother's house right now until Saturday when Ed is coming back to pick me up. He wanted someone here with me while I recover in case I need them. I am doing pretty well. I was able to get a good night's rest, I am up and moving. I have some pain, but it's not that bad. I am feeling thankful that this second surgery is over and relief that it went well. I am looking forward to feeling no more pain hopefully from this endometriosis. I am also committed to doing all I can to try to prevent the endometriosis from returning by eating healthy, staying away from dairy and meat, and drinking more water. No more soda for me!

I have God and the Blessed Mother through her rosary to thank for leading us to this surgeon, that the surgery went well, and for this good recovery. I also have my wonderful husband to thank too for his love and support through this. I have a lot to be thankful for.

Today I need to call the surgeon and schedule an appointment to see him to discuss my surgery and see the pictures he took from the surgery. Meanwhile I will be out of work for about two weeks.

Thanks everyone for your prayers, encouragement, and kind thoughts!

I really appreciate it all!

May God Bless all my family and friends on here.

Love,
Maria :)

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Today is the day of my 2nd surgery!

Today is the day of my 2nd surgery!

I am going to have a laparoscopy to remove the rest of the endometriosis that might still be lurking around, get rid of any cysts that might be hanging around, and zap those adhesians. They are also going to check my fallopian tubes to see if they are blocked and if they are, they will unblock them.

I can't wait to get rid of the pain and discomfort from this endometriosis stage 4, which not only affects me during cycle time, but other times of the month too like ovulation time.

Now after they rid me of the endometriosis today, my goal is to do my best to prevent it or slow it down from returning. I plan on achieving this goal through diet, exercise, and supplements. If anybody has any tips, suggestions, ect. I'd love to hear them!

My husband Ed and I are praying for a successful surgery, that everything goes well, to receive a good report from the doctor, for me to be pain free and healthy, to be healed of the endometriosis and infertility if it's God's will, and also if it's God's will for us after I heal, for us to be blessed with a child. Of course that totally is up to God and His will for me. On a positive note though, I did ask my surgeon who is an endometriosis specialist how old is his oldest patient who was able to have children after surgery and he told me he had a patient who was 47 with endometriosis who was able to have a child. Wow, how blessed that lady is whoever she is! That is totally awesome!

My husband Ed has been so wonderful and encouraging through this. Yesterday when I had to fast from solid foods, he made me some delicious chicken flavored broth. He also went out and bought me some jello cups and orange Popsicle made out of real fruit. After spending a whole day not being able to eat, they tasted fabulous! Thank you Honey, love you!

May I please ask for prayers? Maybe someone would pray a rosary for me? As you might know, the rosary is my favorite devotion!

Thank you so much everyone for the kind comments, encouragement, and especially the prayers! I really appreciate them all!

May God Bless you all.

Love,
Maria Therese

Monday, March 9, 2009

Surgery date is April 1st, 2009

Today at work in the morning my new surgeon's office called me with a surgery date. I will be having my laparoscopy (key hole surgery) on Wednesday, April 1st 2009!

I can't wait to finally get rid of all the endometriosis, adhesians, cysts, and all the pain associated with this condition. Also my new surgeon tells me he will "optimize" things so we will have a better chance of being able to conceive, if that is God's will for us.

Please pray for a successful surgery for me, that everything will go well, and that if it's God's will for us we will be blessed with a child. If you could especially put in a prayer or two to the Blessed Mother, St. Anne, and St. Gianna I would really appreciate it so much! Thank you!

Since I will be out of work for two weeks recovering I am planning on ordering a few books I've had my eye on at my favorite website amazon.com. One of the things I really want to learn to do is knit. Maybe during my recovery time I could learn how to knit a few pretty blankets for all the wonderful friends I have expecting babies this year?

Thanks everyone!

May God Bless you.

Love,
Maria Therese :)

Monday, March 2, 2009

Today was our 1st appointment with a new surgeon!

Today hubby and I had a consult with a new surgeon who is an endometriosis expert. He agreed to do my second surgery. When I gave him my first surgery report, he shook his head and said the same thing that my napro doctor did: that the first surgeon didn't do a great job and all he did was drain the cysts (He told me that if cysts aren't completely removed, they can grow back! I am fairly certain they have grown back, because I often feel pain near my ovaries!) He reassured me that he would remove all the remaining cysts, endometriosis, and adhesians.

He also said that even though the first surgeon couldn't do the surgery through my belly, he thought he can. He said he never had to do an open surgery on an endo patient. He told me I would only need two weeks out of work this time.

This guy seems to know and understand how to deal with endo. He wants to give hubby and I the best chance of being able to conceive. They will be calling within the next few days to give me a surgery date. Before I left the office they told me my surgery date will probably be in April. The surgeon will also perform a HSG during the procedure, which will check to see if my tubes are blocked. If they are blocked, he told me he will be able to unblock them!!

Hubby and I both remarked today that we wish we had been referred to this new surgeon eighteen months ago!

Finally! I'm going to be rid of this pain AND I might even be able to conceive a child eventually too!I feel very hopeful!

May I please ask for prayers? I feel a little nervous about needing surgery again, but I feel very hopeful too!

May God Bless you.

Love,
Maria

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Has anybody read this book?



I was wondering, has anybody ever read this book?

And if yes, what did you think of it?

I was recommended this book recently and want to order it, BUT right now it's
not in the budget. So, I guess I'm going to have to wait until next month.

If you have read it though, I'd LOVE to hear what you think about it.

Is it worth ordering??

Thank you!

May God Bless you.

Love,
Maria Therese :)

My first award! Thanks Ann!

Oh wow, what a wonderful surprise - my first award! I received this lovely award recently from my dear friend Ann in Louisiana>





Thank you so much Ann for thinking of me and for this award. I really appreciate it!

Okay, I now need to tag five people to pass this award on to.

I now pass it on to the following:

Bobbi Revolution Of Love

Jaime Lord,Make Me A Saint

Dawn Water Into Wine, per Tutto

Andrea Balsam Woods Blog

Sue Become What You Are

Ladies, thank you for your friendship and I do hope that this award will be an encouragement to you to continue praying and sharing our beautiful Catholic faith with others through blogging! Thank you for all the encouragement, prayers, and joy you have given me through visiting your wonderful blogs!

Now ladies, please click on your award, save it to your computer, upload it to your blogs, and pass it on to five more people!

Much love and hugs to you all!

P.S. Please pray for Bobbi, Jaime, Dawn, and Andrea who are all currently pregnant and expecting a gift from Heaven! I wanted to include them to receive this award to help brighten up their days while pregnant! And Sue? Well, she has been a good friend to me too. She is a very busy homeschooling Mom to several children and a very talented knitter! Please pray for her and her family too! Thank you! :)

May God Bless you.

Love,
Maria Therese :)

Friday, February 6, 2009

Please Pray For This Friend Also!

Could you PLEASE join me in also praying for a friend that she and her husband will receive good news soon from their adoption agency?

They will make such wonderful parents to a special child!

I am really looking forward to the day I visit her blog and hear the news that a child has been placed with them for adoption! I just have this feeling it is going to happen soon!

Thank you so much!

click here to visit my friend's blog

May God Bless you.

Maria Therese :)

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Pay It Forward!



This is how it works:

Pay It Forward Exchange is based on the concept of the movie "Pay it forward".I will send a hand made gift to the first three people who leave a comment to this post on my blog requesting to join the PIF exchange.

All the gifts will be made and posted out 'sometime within the next year'. How exciting to not know when your surprise package will arrive!

What you need to do in return, is pay it forward by making the same promise on your blog. This Exchange is only open to those with active websites or blogs.

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS PROMISE TO POST THE SAME PAY IT FORWARD PICTURE AND THIS MESSAGE ONTO YOUR BLOG, WHICH MUST BE ACTIVE IN ORDER TO PLAY. YOU WILL PAY IT FORWARD TO THREE PEOPLE WHO COMMENT ON YOUR BLOG.


I just saw this at on my friend Jaime's blogand wanted to do this. I enjoy giving to others and it's fun to receive something in snail mail, right?! The first 3 who leave a comment under this post will be the 3 I pick! Just email me your address and expect something in the mail sometime this year! By the way, my email address is: prayrosary4life@aol.com

Thanks Jaime for this wonderful idea, which will surely brighten up other people's
days!

P.S. Need some encouragement and a smile? Visit my friend Jaime's blog! It's one of my favorites! Also, may I please ask everyone who reads this to please pray a Hail Mary for Jaime and her unborn baby for a good and healthy pregnancy, safe and sound delivery, and healthy baby? Thank you so much!

May God Bless you all.
Maria Therese :)

Friday, January 23, 2009

The beautiful gift of the rosary

I admit I was feeling very sad about the endometriosis, the possibility of a second surgery, and especially about my inability to conceive (so disapointing and so frustrating especially when you've been trying and reading everything to increase your chances for the eighteen months you've been married! Grrrrr! LOL! I even lost weight to try to increase my chances and gave up Pepsi for awhile, but guess what? I'm still NOT pregnant! My new theory is that weight doesn't have much to do with a person's ability to try to conceive. Everyone tells me that they think it's the endometriosis and my age of almost 42 1/2, which is keeping me from being able to concieve! Being told this constantly by family and friends although it may be the truth doesn't help me. It makes me feel more anxious. I feel like I am running out of time!). My heart aches so much to be a mother and be able to hold a child in my arms. Tonight was such a night and I found myself crying and unable to sleep. Do you know what I did though? I jumped out of my bed, grabbed my rosary, and started praying. And guess what? It worked! Because now I feel much better and more hopeful!

Thank you Our Lady for the beautiful gift of the rosary! Jesus, Mary I love you! Please save souls!

If anybody who reads this could keep me in your prayers especially your rosary, I would really appreciate it! The rosary really helps give me more peace, comfort, joy, and the graces I need!

I'd also like to encourage everyone especially those also suffering from endometriosis, infertility, and other crosses to try praying the rosary! I pray that it helps you as much as it helps me!

May God Bless you.

Love,
Maria Therese :)

Thursday, January 8, 2009

God's will or not?

Lately it seems that everyone I know offline and online are either already pregnant or announcing that they are pregnant. I am thrilled for them, but admit when I hear their news (or read it) I am sad for me. This week I heard someone else was pregnant and wanted to cry. I have been pretty good lately about not crying about it, but yesterday the tears started again. It just made me feel so sad and discouraged for Ed and I.

I wonder, "Why are they able to get pregnant so easily and not me?" "What am I doing wrong?" "Why do some women get to be Mommies and not me?" "Doesn't God hear my prayers?" "Doesn't He think I would be a good Mommy?" "So why isn't He blessing us with a child?" I want to be a good Catholic Mommy so much. I think I would be a good Catholic Mommy. I've been told by many family, friends, parents of children I taught as a teacher at a daycare, and co-workers that they thought I'd be a very good Mommy someday. I'd love to be able to give Ed a child. It seems that we have been trying forever. "Am I not praying hard enough?" As a single for years I prayed for a good Catholic husband as well as to be able to someday have children. Well, I've certainly been blessed to find and marry Ed. I thank God every day for my wonderful Catholic husband.

Since we've been married I've been praying many rosaries, 54 day rosary novenas, St. Therese novenas, and many other novenas for children. It seems though that my prayers haven't been answered yet. I wonder "How long do I have to keep praying?" "Am I praying hard enough?" Why is it that other couples pray the rosary or novenas for a child and their prayers are answered quickly than mine? "Am I doing something wrong?"

It just seems that we have been trying for so long to be able to have a child and I haven't been able to become pregnant once. I think I have tried everything: I read everything about increasing the chances of being able to conceive online and I have many books on the subject, I have taken vitamins, tried different herbs, gave up the cola, and even lost twenty three pounds. It seems nothing has worked. Nothing is making the difference. So why keep praying for a baby, keep trying, give up the cola, take the vitamins, or continue to try to lose weight? Nothing works!

I'm sorry, but it just seems so frustrating. Am I too old? Is it this stupid endometriosis? Or is it just not God's will? I had a talk with a priest about this and he told me that not all married couples have a vocation to be parents. Of course I didn't really like hearing this at the time even if it probably is the truth.

So how can you tell if something is God's will for you or not? Do you think I should continue to pray asking God to please bless us with a baby? How long should someone pray for something? When I was in my thirties, I prayed for several years for a good Catholic husband. Ed found me when I was thirty nine. We were married on June 16th 2007 when I was almost forty one and Ed was almost forty three. He was definitely worth the wait!

Again, I am very happy for any woman who has the blessing to be able to conceive, experience the joy of pregnancy, and give birth to a beautiful child of God. But I want to be able to experience that joy too. Unfortunately it seems right now that I am unable to conceive, that I will never be able to experience the joy of being pregnant, seeing the joy on Ed's face when I tell him we have a baby on the way, feel our baby kick in my womb, go shopping for baby's homecoming outfit with my Mom, give birth, breast feed, practice attachment parenting with a baby, see baby's first smile, watch baby when he takes his first steps, hear baby say "Mama" or "Dada", teach our child the "Hail Mary" and "Our Father", teach our child the rosary, home school our child, and all the ups and downs of having a child of our own. I have such a strong desire to be a Mother and look forward to experiencing all those things. My heart and my arms ache to hold a child. It's not easy to slowly come to the very realistic realization that I might never be able to be a Mother and have a child of our own. It hurts. It really hurts.

I want to be the kind of person who can forget my own heartache of being infertile and be able to help other Mothers. I hope I have helped other Mothers with their children as a teacher at a daycare for almost twenty years. I also pray for the Mothers in my own family, many of our friends, co-workers who are pregnant, and pregnant friends offline and online. Why? Because I have found helping others and praying for them helps me too and makes me very happy. I enjoy helping others and praying for them. Maybe it's not God's will for me to be a Mother, but maybe it is God's will for me to help and pray for Mothers.

Still though, I would really love to be able to conceive and have a child of our own.
Again, stupid endometriosis!

Could you please pray for me to receive the graces I need and be able to accept God's will better? I need your prayers so much. Thank you so much!

And now that I've written that completely selfish and whining post, I'm going to go read my Bible and pray the rosary.

May God Bless you.

Love,
Maria Therese