Friday, November 20, 2009

No Period Again - What's Going On?!

Dear Readers,

Isn't a lack of a period usually a sign of pregnancy? You would think so, right?

Well, NOT in my case! At the end of October around Halloween I had a few scary moments when my lower left side was aching and I had spotting for several days. A few weeks later when Aunt Flo didn't show up, I thought for a minute "Hey, maybe I'm pregnant! Finally! At last!" After all, we've been now TTC now for two years.

Today I finally bought a pregnancy test, took it, and guess what? Only one pink line showed up! Except I knew I probably wasn't pregnant. I didn't have any symptoms except a missed period.

So now I have to call my Napro doctor next week, let him know about this lack of period, and see what he recommends. When I didn't get my period after my surgery in April and called him, he told me to take my progesterone suppositories.

That would be fine except every time I take those darn things, they make my asthma worse. The last time I had to take them I needed to go see my asthma specialist and get a shot in the arm. Ouch! It really hurt!

I wonder, is this lack of period related to the lower left pain and spotting I had? Is there any way to correct this besides taking progesterone suppositories? Am I now going through peri-menopause? Also I don't think I'm ovulating on a regular basis anymore either. Do you think the two surgeries and removal of the endometriomas on both the ovaries damaged them? Or is it my age? Or both? I am not very happy about these latest developments and I guess all my worrying is not helping either. But what can I do?

I want to be a Mommy so much and pray all the time to be blessed with a child, but it seems what little fertility I might have is decreasing even more.

Maybe adoption is my only option? But what's so frustrating to me is this: Hubby and I have debt and we can't afford adoption right now. If only I was able to get pregnant and have my own child......well, I will keep praying, continue to try to be faithful, and try to trust but you know what? It's not easy at times! I keep on praying for a child, then get a symptom of maybe being pregnant like the lack of a period, get my hopes up, take a pregnancy test, and again it's negative! I feel like God keeps on saying "No" or "Wait" to me. I don't really understand why. But still I keep hoping and praying.

Do you know what's been helping me a lot lately? And giving me the peace and comfort I need so much about this whole wanting to be a Mommy thing? Praying my 54 day rosary novena and my new Seven Sorrows Rosary! I love praying both of these every day!

More on Imaculee and the Seven Sorrows Rosary soon!

Maybe you could pray for me? Thank you so much!

I will remember you in my thoughts and prayers!

May God Bless you.

Love,
Maria

2 comments:

prayerfuljourney said...

Thanks for your sweet comments on my post. Sorry about the negative. I have no idea what could help you. I haven't missed a period since it began long ago and I have never had a pregnancy...LOL! Gosh...it's a long journey and it sounds like you use the tool of the Rosary wisely and graciously. I need to find the prayer tool that is right for me. Hmmmm....Keep praying...it does the body good. Praying for you. :)

SBCE said...

Prayers for you, sweet and faithful Maria! God bless you and Ed, Sarah Beth