Saturday, March 27, 2010

My dream of being a Mommy seems impossible to me right now!

I have decided rather than continue to be sad that I am unable to conceive naturally, to try to be pro-active. One of the ways I'm trying to be pro-active is to improve my health (and fertility) by continuing to watch what I put into my mouth and to exercise more (I tried this before on my Napro doctor's advice, but it didn't seem to help us be able to concieve! Why? Lately I've heard so many wonderful stories from friends and people I don't know who are in their forties who have been blessed to conceive. What is it that these people are doing right and I am doing wrong? I don't get this. It's so frustrating to me!) Another way is to to try to raise funds to adopt a child. I have come to the conclusion that the only way I will be able to achieve my dream and to become a Mother is through adoption. Unfortunately hubby and I do not seem to have enough funds to be able to adopt a child at this time (another source of frustration. So many people are so blessed to be able to conceive on their own and have several children - all without medical help. Do they know how blessed they are? And then there's me who was told on Friday by a co-worker who nicknamed me "Mama Maria" and gave me the compliment I'd be such a wonderful Mommy. Well thank you so much, I really appreciate that but my heart and arms ache so much that no matter what I do, how much weight I seem to lose, how many times I give up the Pepsi and Caffeine, and how many times hubby and I try TTC, we haven't been able to get pregnant even once. Seriously, the only way it seems I can become a Mommy is by adopting but in order to adopt I have come to learn that you need money, a LOT of money, which hubby and I do not seem to have.)I am going to continue to be pro-active and pray the rosary asking Jesus, the Blessed Mother, and other Saints (St. Gianna Beretta!) to please send us a child to love. I am going to trust Jesus that if it's His will for me to become a Mother, then He has a special child out there for hubby and me, and He will help make it happen!

If you want to help, could you PLEASE pray for me and hubby? I would really appreciate it so much! My heart is broken. I want to be a Mommy so much, but can't right now. I hope and pray someday I will be able to!

Thank you so much! May God Bless you all!


Kelly said...

Adoption through the foster care system doesn't cost anything. There are many babies and children that would love to have a family and are just waiting for someone. I know here, they asked us to be foster parents first and it was really really emotional, but very worth it. I pray God will guide you on this journey to parenthood! Hugs!

prayerfuljourney said...

Good luck as you begin the new journey of adoption. Praying for you and your dh.

Praying for Hope said...

Praying for you, too. You'll get there one way or another.

Leila said...

I, also, was going to suggest foster adopt! An inexpensive route to mommyhood. You would be wonderful!