Monday, March 21, 2011

Mourning the fact we will probably never be able to have a biological child.

I think right now I am mourning the fact (due to the endometriosis stage four and that in August I will be forty five years old) that it is extremely doubtful that Ed and I will be able to have a biological child. It is so difficult to want something so much and not be able to have it. We've been praying for a child for almost the four years we've been married with no success. I think we've tried just about everything - diet, exercise, two surgeries, fertility specialists, ect. Nothing has worked.

I try so hard to be a good Catholic and pray for God's will to be done and offer up this suffering for sinners, the souls in purgatory, ect. but it's not easy. Sometimes trying to pray this way, I end up in tears and can't finish.

I think the only way I'll ever be able to be a Mommy is through adoption. I am open to adoption, but I really wanted to do the whole biological Mommy thing - experience the joy of carrying a child in my womb, giving birth, nursing, ect. Right now I am trying to mourn the fact we will probably not be able to have a biological child and start taking steps towards adoption.

Could you please pray for me? Thank you so much! I'm really having a difficult time with this fact. The only thing that consoles me is praying the rosary, praying for others, the hugs, kisses, and "I Love You's" I receive from the young preschool children I teach, and spending time with my six year old nephew and his almost four year old twin sisters. A couple of years ago my brother (Dad to my nephew and neices) said the nicest thing to me. He told me he would share his kids with me! Wasn't that so sweet? :) It really meant so much to me!

May God Bless you!

Love,
Maria

17 comments:

surpriseofunfolding said...

I am praying for you. I wish you didn't have to deal with this. Thank you for the love you share with the little ones in your life - I'm not sure how you find the strength to do that when you are grieving inside.

Hugs,

Andie

Jamie Jo said...

I'm praying for you.

JellyBelly said...

I continue to pray for you!

K said...

I am so sorry for your pain. I have known it well. Yes, mourn! But also know that if you are called to adopt it will fulfill you in unimaginable ways, and you'll find yourself happily offering up the lose of those biological joys.

the misfit said...

It really is something worth mourning. Part of who we are...my spiritual director says that God will give us something else to do with our lives (maybe adoption) that will fulfill the thing in us that we're longing to fill (not that it will ever make it OK to be infertile). I can't claim that I can fully understand and accept that right now, but I hope he's right, and I hope I can embrace that way forward someday soon.

CM said...

I'm praying for you!

judy said...

Hello my name is Judy and i'm 38 years old and going through the same thing as you. After going through much about everything. I'm now going through the adoption process. I see it as maybe we are here to give love to someone that needs it. And that makes me smile. So my prayers are with you and your husband. I made peace with the difficulties and now moving to the next stage of our lives. Maybe adoption is something that you look into. XOXOXO suffering from Endo since i was 15.

Judy in Danbury CT

deirdre said...

have you googled ''conceive naturally''?

http://www.tryingtoconceive.com/

etc

Have you tried metformin? some women with pcos find it helps...

deirdre said...

Please also realize one thing...don't mourn before you have to...

rejoice in the good in you, and the life and love

you have a great guy

and go where babies in the womb need to be saved

your needs will meet theirs

deirdre said...

http://www.clearpassage.com/patients/in-the-news.php

have you seen this?

have you contacted jerry horn or fr pavone of priests for life to ask how to adopt a child in danger of losing their life?

deirdre said...

Dear God, please pray for our country! Look what is going on! ''gender selection!''

http://www.ofrm.com/html/gender-selection.html

deirdre said...

i've read that this is ok for Catholics to use (and it has its own website)

https://www.bellevuerx.com/ProductDetails.aspx?ProductID=2679&CategoryID=31

deirdre said...

http://www.preseed.com/where-states.html

deirdre said...

have you seen these?

http://simone-perseverance.blogspot.com/p/napro-doctors.html

giannahealth.org

Emily said...

Remember that you are beautiful and that God made you for a special purpose: to be so much more than a biological mother. That purpose takes more strength and you have it lady! I will pray for peace and a quiet determination for you.

"His Perfect Timing" said...

Praying for you.

The Apostolate of Hannah's Tears said...

Maria,

Thought of you when I saw this site: http://nourishedkitchen.com/my-story-recovery-from-celiac-disease-pcos-and-autoimmune-thyroid-disease/

Check it out!

Peace,
Therese
Hannah's Tears Ministry/Apostolate

http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Apostolate-of-Hannahs-Tears/106097516093383