Monday, December 1, 2014

A Little Bit About Me. Thank you for reading and praying for me! :)

Hello - welcome to my little home on the web. Glad you could visit me today. My name is Maria, I'm 48 years old, vertically challenged, and I have big hair (My nickname in college was Chaka Kahn). I met my husband Ed on a Catholic Singles website (after praying many, many, MANY rosaries especially the 54 day rosary novena) and we have been married for seven and a half (L-O-N-G years - this is a joke of our's! LOL!). We live in southeastern, Mass. in our cozy condo. Ed is a computer technician at a public school nearby. Ever since I was twelve years old, I babysat. When I graduated from college, I became a teacher at a pre-school. I have been a teacher for twenty six years now. I adore children and have always wanted my own. My heart aches so much to be a Mama, but my arms are empty.

Shortly after being married, I needed surgery to remove cysts on my ovaries. I was diagnosed at the age of forty one with endometriosis stage four. When I was in my twenties, I remember running into an old high school friend at church. She told me the story how she and her husband wanted children, but were having at difficult time trying to conceive. She mentioned she had endometriosis and she looked so sad. I remember thinking, "Endometriosis? It sounds awful! What is that?" All I knew about it was that it could prevent a woman from being unable to have children. Deep down, I think that has always been my fear - I would find my Mr. Wonderful, but we wouldn't be able to have children. I even had dreams I was pregnant and I'd wake up feeling relieved - "Oh good, that must mean that someday after I get married I will be able to have children. When I prayed my rosary asking Jesus and the Blessed Mother to please help me find a good Catholic man, I'd also pray for children in each and every rosary. I never suspected that I had the disease too or my high school friend's nightmare would happen to me too. I thought the horrible, painful, and heavy periods, the terrible pms, and awful headaches during that time of the month were normal and every girl suffered this way every month. Nobody brought up the possibility I might have endometriosis, not even my primary physician when during a cat-scan taken in my thirties for kidney stones, they discovered I had cysts on my ovaries or when I mentioned once off hand that I had very painful periods (She recommended I take "Three Aleve!"). Multiple ultrasounds over a course of several months were taken to check on the cysts. I was even sent to a GYN to check on the status of the cysts, but again nobody ever brought up the possibility I might have endometriosis until I moved to New Bedford after I was married, mentioned during a doctor's visit with my new primary physician that I was previously diagnosed with cysts on my ovaries, and that started the whole process again which led to my first surgery and then finally - a diagnosis!

I have been very blessed to find a wonderful husband, have a loving family, great friends, and a job I love. I was also blessed to have an awesome Napro doctor for many years, but he is no longer practicing (There are no Napro doctors in my area. Please pray I can find a nice Catholic pro-life doctor who is patient and kind. Thank you so much!). But what I really want deep down, is a child. Everyone tells me it is impossible for me to have a child especially at my age and because the endo wasn't discovered until such a late age. Sometimes I keep thinking: "What if I had been diagnosed earlier? Like in my twenties? Would I have a child now?" Only God knows the answer and why not. I try really hard not to think of the "what ifs" and "why we weren't blessed with a child?" because it too painful. Maybe you, my dear reader, can understand? I have been to so many doctors and specialists, have had so many tests done, prayed so many rosary novenas, and rosaries. Even though it's next to impossible, I keep hoping and praying for a miracle like St. Ann and St. Elizabeth received in the Bible. It has taken me several years to try to accept God's will. It has been such a struggle, such a heartache, a major disappointment. Before when someone would announce their pregnancy, I'd run to the bathroom and cry. I also used to cry myself to sleep. I think I've been through all the stages of grief. What has helped me to accept God's will is: praying for others especially those suffering from endometriosis, pcos, and infertility, praying the rosary which gives me such peace and comfort, praying for Mothers and Dads to accept life for their unborn babies and praying for the end of abortion, and thinking of others. It also really helps me to think of myself as a "Mother's Helper" and offering to lend a hand or two to Mother's with children, and writing. Someday I'd like to write some Catholic pro-life fiction like Carmen Marcoux.

By the way, I am open to adoption, but the problem is: 1) I don't think my husband and I can afford it. We live paycheck to paycheck. and 2) We live in a small condo. Still though, I keep praying asking Jesus and the Blessed Mother to send us a miracle, the child who needs us the most. I trust that He has heard my prayers and some kind of an answer is on the way!

Thank you so much for reading this and blessing me with being "Blogger of the Month". Your prayers are very much appreciated. Please send me an email or comment letting me know how I can pray for you. I LOVE praying for others especially those still waiting for a little one of their own, suffering from infertility, endometriosis, pcos, ect. It is such a comfort to know others are praying for me, some have similiar struggles, and I am not alone. Maybe sharing my story can help and encourage others suffering in the same way. Thank you. May God Bless you.

PS. A dear soul (but anonymous) took the time to leave me a heart felt comment in the post below this one. I understand you wish to remain anonymous, but would you consider emailing me at: prayrosary4life at aol.com? I'd love to send you a St. Gianna prayer card and a 54 day rosary novena book, if I may? Thank you! Hope to hear from you!

Love,

Maria Therese

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Lupron? Hysterectomy? I need your opinions and feedback, please!

Okay, I'm 48 years old now (nope, my dream of a child never came true. I still don't understand the whys. It hurts to think about sometimes, but I am more accepting of it now. I still cry from time to time.) and last month's period was horrible. The problem is, I am no longer under the care of my wonderful Napro doctor Dr. C. He closed his medical office to take another position. There are no Napro doctors or any Catholic doctors in my area. I had my last visit with Dr. C two weeks before he left at the end of August. He gave me a prescription for progesterone from the Pope John Institute in Omaha, NE but I have no idea how to measure out and take this progesterone prescription. He also ordered an ultrasound, on my request, but was unable to go over the results with me. I needed to schedule an appointment with my primary physician here in my city. I made an appointment and learned that my bi-lateral cysts are back for the third time, the right cyst is hemoglobic (?!) and bigger than the left one, and I need to go see a new GYN. Not having much of a choice, I opted to see a GYN who has a great personality and bedside manner, but she is not Catholic, has a bunch of magazines in her office promoting contraceptives, and she knows nothing about Napro. Of course she recommended a hysterectomy, but told me I needed "cleaning out" before such a surgery is done. She recommended I try the Lupron shot and along with it, she would prescribe the estrogen. She told me that the new finding is that patients with endometriosis have a higher risk of ovarian cancer. I was also told that no, estrogen will not encourage cancer, but if estrogen is taken with progesterone, than yes, that will make my chances of getting cancer higher. Is that really true? Has anybody tried Lupron? What are the side effects of Lupron? Do they last long after the Lupron shot wears off?

I am not sure what to do. Hysterectomy? Try the Lupron shot for three months and see what happens? Or just wait until age 51 when I probably will be in Menopause, which was her guess. I've been having signs of pre-menopause since my second surgery in '09: cycles skipping, getting longer, light periods, less cramping, feeling hot in the middle of the night, ect. A few times over the last year I've had horrible pain during my period, which used to be my normal. My last period was really horrible especially on day 3. The prescription for the Lupron shot and estrogen was already special ordered, but I have not been given it yet. I'm trying to gather some information and decide what to do. I'd really appreciate any thoughts, concerns, feedback, ect. Thank you so much! Wish we had the $$ so I could travel to have a Napro trained GYN consultation and possible surgery, but that is impossible right now. I feel stuck. I do not know what to do. The truth is, I'd really like to deal with this naturally, BUT those doctors keep trying to scare me that I might develop ovarian cancer due to the endometriosis. I also feel so tired of developing these stupid ovarian cysts, the fibroids, having the pain (not even a dumb motrin 800 took away the pain last period!),ect. over and over again. So tired of the problems, the pain, and not feeling well. I want to be done with this especially since there is basically almost no hope of my ever being able to have a baby naturally. I feel almost done. Can anybody else relate? Do you understand?

Also, if anybody has had an hysterectomy, I'd love to hear from you. How long did it take you to recover? Are you on any hormone treatments?

Thank you so much in advance! I really appreciate it.

May God Bless you all. You are all in my thoughts and prayers!

Maria