Sunday, December 13, 2009

Update on Napro doctor's visit - being tested for PCOS!

I had a wonderful visit with my Napro doctor. He could tell I felt very anxious, answered all my questions, and he tried to reassure me. He looked at my hormone results from the last day of last cycle, which were taken at my yearly physical on Dec. 1st and told me my hormones were where they were supposed to be. He also took a look at my FSH and LH results and told me those were fine too. He reassured me that from my FHS and LH results it didn't look like I was anywhere near menopause, thank God! What a huge relief! But then why, am I starting to skip periods? He told me that a women can skip periods for any number of reasons. He looked at my Creighton chart with all the green stickers the last two cycles and agreed with me that he didn't think I was ovulating. He prescribed Femara on day three of my last cycle (two pills for five days) and told me if I didn't have any CM (cervical mucus) this cycle then on day three of my next cycle to take eight pills of the Femara. I haven't seen any CM yet and this is supposed to be my fertile time. I am not sure what's going on. We talked about the possibility of PCOS and he wants to test me for that on P+7. If I don't ovulate this cycle again though, then how can we tell it is P+7? Again, I am not showing any signs of CM or ovulating.

For those of you diagnosed with endometriosis and pcos, is there anything I can do diet wise to encourage more regular CM and ovulation? Skipping periods is highly unusual for me. I have been regular all my life. Also as far as I know, up until only a few months ago, I was having regular CM and ovulating.

If you have any words of encouragement for me, advice, suggestions, or if you could please pray for me I would really love to hear from you! Thank you so much!

Thinking of you and praying for you all!

Love,
Maria

Thursday, December 10, 2009

anxious about my appointment with Napro doctor tommorow - prayers please?

First of all, thank you so much for your encouragement, prayers, and for posting! I really appreciate them all!

Tomorrow I have an appointment with my Napro doctor. I am bringing my Creighton chart as well as a copy of my lab results from my yearly physical last week. I am afraid what this doctor might say to me. He is not going to be very happy that I haven't lost any more weight since I last saw him this past summer. I think I gained back five to eight pounds. I am not sure he is going to understand that due to the lack of fertility signs, the skipping of periods, the fear of peri-menopause, and my dreams of motherhood floating away that I haven't been feeling very happy. I have been feeling very anxious, sad, and discouraged. Just like many people, when I'm feeling this way I reach for foods and drinks (Pepsi!)to make me feel better. I know, not good. I fear when they weigh me and he sees that I gained back a little weight, he will be giving me a little speech. I'm also wondering what he is going to say when he sees all the green stickers on my chart and the lack of the white baby stickers. Peri-menopause? Maybe PCOS? Unfortunately I've been suffering from anxiety just thinking about my visit with this doctor and what he might tell me especially after looking at my Creighton chart and hormone report. I have both in my possession and they do not look very good fertility wise. Both seem to tell me that my hormones are NOT at the right levels for being able to conceive. I have known for awhile now that my progesterone levels were not that great, but now it looks like my estrogen levels are decreasing too. Can this explain all the headaches and crying episodes I've been having? I am not sure. This is probably a good question to ask the doctor tommorow.

Could you please pray for me that this doctor can help me and give me some encouraging news? I really need to hear something positive, something encouraging. Thank you so much!

On a happy note, tomorrow on the way to the Napro doctor's office we are going to make a stop in my old hometown and visit my old co-workers and friends from the daycare I worked at as a teacher for nineteen years! I am really looking forward to seeing them! I haven't seen most of them for two years now!

Thinking of you and praying for all of you!

May God Bless you all!

Love,
Maria :)

Monday, December 7, 2009

Feeling overwhelmed and lonely here

Okay, I feel overwhelmed right now by endometriosis stage four, infertility, the fact that I've been skipping periods, and my doctor last week brought up the word peri-menopause to me. They took a hormone panel, but I haven't recieved the results yet. I am afraid to find out. I am also afraid to go see my Napro doctor this Friday and hear what he is going to say. I requested my hormone panel results to be faxed to the Napro doctor.

Things just look so bleak right now. My heart and arms are aching so much to have a baby of my own and to be a full time wife and mother, but I'm afraid it would take a miracle for it to happen for me.

I don't know. I just feel so sad and discouraged right now. I also wonder why do I even blog? I don't think anybody visits my blog.

I really wish I knew some ladies who suffer from infertility in Mass and we could get together to talk and share or chat on the phone. I feel like I can't talk to anybody about this and not many people understand. I wish there was such a thing as an infertility group in my area.

Oh well. What can I do? As always, try to trust and pray, but it is becoming more difficult. There doesn't seem to be any answers. Still, I cling to my rosary and to my new 7 Sorrows Rosary of Our Lady.

Thinking of you all and praying for you all!

Mumbling to myself...don't cry Maria, don't cry.

Love,
Maria